How to Succeed in Life when Success Is a Rigged Game—Redefine It

Most people spend their whole lives chasing success without ever stopping to ask: Who decided what success even means?

And more importantly—why are we all playing by the same rules?

If success means hitting the goal, getting the outcome, and achieving the result… what happens when you don’t? I spent the first 25-years of my life feeling like a failure. I literally failed my first three years of university straight, dropping out with a 1.6 GPA. I returned in 5-months and received a 4.0 GPA for the first time in my life, all because I realized something simple:

If success is entirely based on what happens after you act, then you are never truly in control.

You can work harder than anyone and still not land the job.
You can create something incredible and still not have it take off.
You can love someone fully and still lose them.

If your sense of success depends on factors outside of you, you will always be chasing something that isn’t fully yours to hold.

Proud Action: The New Success

Instead of measuring success by what happens, measure it by whether you took action in a way that you feel proud for.

Not proud of what you accomplished—proud for the way you showed up, regardless of the outcome.

If you apply for the job, whether or not you get it is out of your control.
But showing up fully, writing the best application you can, and submitting it anyway? That’s yours.

If you have a tough conversation, how the other person reacts is out of your control.
But being honest, speaking clearly, and holding your ground? That’s yours.

You can’t control whether your work is well-received.
You can control whether you did work that felt meaningful.

And here’s the paradox: when you stop chasing external success and start showing up for the process, you often get better results anyway.

Not because you’re forcing them.
But because you’re actually engaging with life instead of anxiously managing outcomes.

Your Definition of Success Determines Your Life

Most people live in a loop of waiting to feel successful.
They tell themselves, “Once I achieve X, I’ll finally feel accomplished.”
Then they get it, and the bar moves.

Instead of being relieved, they just find another metric to chase.
The cycle repeats. The goalpost never stops shifting.

But when success is measured by whether you showed up in a way that aligns with you, you are never waiting.

You don’t have to reach some far-off milestone to feel like you’re enough.

Your metric is entirely within your control, right now.

Your success is the way you respond to this moment—not what happens after.

The One Question That Changes Everything

After any situation, instead of asking:

"Am I successful? Did I succeed?"

Try asking:

"Did I take action in a way that I feel proud for?"

Proud for choosing growth over comfort.
Proud for responding instead of reacting.
Proud for moving forward when you could have stayed stuck.

The rest?
That’s just life unfolding.